I just thought of the dumbest thing, which is that fjord's accent is real and the one he used with his patron was him trying to sound fancier and more professional in front of his new tentacle boss and now he can't change that bc his patron thinks he sounds like that for real
wheres that story about the D&D guy who plays as a bear and has really good disguises and no one knows its a bear and he becomes king and everyone falls for it except one person who rolls for perception and he goes THATS A FUCKING BEAR and gets kicked out of the kingdom
i feel like we need to have a better line in the “gays who can drive” community between “gays who THINK they can drive” and “gays who can actually drive” because my girlfriend can actually drive and get this sexy intense look when shifting gears but my twink roommate is driving me rn and im terrified for my life he’s just singing along to panic at the disco with both his hands out the window and his eyes shut
i go absolutely ape shit buck wild when people ask me if i want to run errands with them like Let’s Fucking Go. and my mind absolutely maxes out of dopamine when they ask if i wanna stop for coffee. and if someone took me to the park id go bonkers in funcking yonkers
i got so high last night that i started ghostwriting for a golden retriever apparently
I had to pee really bad and o forgot that I had just sliced jalapeño peppers and the chef is looking nice at me weird because I’m pouring milk on a rag and running to the bathroom
My dick has been on fire for over an hour
I told my chef what happened and he was like “you only make that mistake about fourteen times”
He tells me this story about this time he had gotten out of a chili class in which he had been cutting habenjero peppers all class and he goes back to his dorm and starts finger blasting his girlfriend and she stars SCREECHING.
She he fukin SPRINTS to the dorm prep kitchen and gets a gallon of heavy cream and runs back to the room. He starts pouring this shit all over her Cooze right, and she’s like shoveling cream into her hole. And he’s freaking out. Like he’s so sure that this chick is don’t with him forever.
So they deal with this thing and the cream works and he’s like massaging it into her pussy for like a half an hour because you have to constantly soak it to nullify the habenjero oils or whatever. And she gets INTO IT.
She fucking CUMS
And my chef tells me this stupid ass story and looks me in the eye and says to me
“Nothing says I love you like a gallon of heavy cream in her pussy”
And I think that’s the best sentence I’ve ever heard in my entire life.
Yes good story but WHY IS IT IN LIKE 8 DIFFERENT PARTS DO YOU KNOW WHAT PARAGRAPHS ARE.
ITS THIS. YOU COULD HAVE DONE THIS.
SOMETIMES PEOPLE ARE AT WORK AND CANT POST EVERYTHING AT ONE TIME FUCK OFF
